Tells and Tales: Japanese Toilet Story

                    My First Japanese Toilet Experience

    Before coming to Japan, I have heard of many amazing things about this country, from its picturesque scenery to its wonderful culture. So it is no doubt I was looking forward to my first ever Japan travel experience. Months before my trip, I was already picturing how I would like to spend my time in Japan. The goal was solely focused on creating the best Instagrammable photos I could ever post. I was so thrilled, I forgot the most important part of traveling to a new place; to know the basics such as the usage of public utilities. This is extremely important, especially for a technologically advanced country like Japan. 

    And so the day that I have been waiting for has finally come. The plane departed from Manila Airport at around 7am on April 13, 2022. An in-flight meal was provided. It was a good lunch. After a 4-hour flight, I finally arrived at Nagoya International Airport. It was around 1 pm Japanese time. I had to go through a very lengthy process at the airport before I could be officially admitted to Japan. After all, the Japanese government was still on high alert for the threat of Corona. It was tiring that my excitement was nowhere to be found. After the arduous procedure, I was told to wait at the airport lounge because our bus hadn't arrived yet. In the lounge, there was a whole heap of vending machines offering various Japanese drinks ranging from soda to milk to sui generis type of beverages. A fun experience wouldn't be complete without trying new things despite having very little knowledge about it. This is where legendary stories are created. Anyway, out of curiosity, I tried the carbonated milk and this is where my first Japanese toilet experience became legendary tells and tales to tell.

A few minutes after drinking the carbonated milk, there was an immediate need to answer the call of nature. I blame the milk. My lactose-intolerant small intestine was acting up in the wrong situation and place. I hurriedly went to the toilet. Despite my raging stomach, I couldn't help but notice how clean the airport toilet was. It was immaculate complete with an infinite supply of toilet paper, an automatic soap dispenser, gorgeous lighting perfect for an Instagram selfie, and most importantly how technologically advanced the toilet system is. The toilet seat was equipped with a heater, a sound button to choose from when the user is not comfortable making sounds when peeing or pooping, and a set-in-place bidet. From my perspective as a "tabo and buhos-buhos user" (dipper and Water pouring), this was perfect. I sat on the toilet seat, it was warm. It was probably the most comfortable 7-minute toilet experience I have ever had. Without any inhibitions, I did my business there. As I was ready to finish my business, I was about to reach the wash button when I got the biggest surprise on my first day in Japan. EVERYTHING WAS WRITTEN IN KANJI. "Oh no! This is bad." I couldn't read Kanji at all. My Hiragana knowledge was below beginner's level and my Katakana, Oh I don't even want to start with that. I started to panic. I tried pushing a button when suddenly music started to play. Oh no, this is bad. I went for another button but to my surprise, cold water suddenly came out and directly shot at my bottom. A muffled shriek accidentally escaped from my trembling lips. Within a short span of seconds, I imagined myself being taken and questioned by the Japanese police. I got scared. I didn't want to be remembered as a foreigner who didn't know how to flush the toilet. With this idea alone, it was already embarrassing. How do I face my family, my friends, and my countrymen? My wild and hysteric imagination has brought me far beyond this point. 

    I sent a message to my friend back in the Philippines to help me. But alas, she can only offer acceptance of my stupidity. She told me to Google the Japanese toilet and I might find the answer to my question, where my honor and dignity depend on. I surrendered everything to fate. "Bawi na lang ako sa next life."  I could only press the water button. Luckily, as I stood up, within a fraction of a second, the toilet suddenly flushed down. And right there, I quickly bade goodbye to the remains and memory of my last days in the Philippines. I was relieved. If I had just stood up and waited for a few seconds, the toilet would automatically flush down. Instead, I panic and let my fear and overthinking take over my sense of problem-solving. Similarly in life, sometimes we get overwhelmed by the gravity of our problems that instead of focusing on the solutions, we get right off the track. We become absorbed in our emotions that it blurs our hindsight. 

As I walked out of that toilet, a new person emerged. Everything moved in slow motion. Background music was playing. On that day, Beth the Japanese version 2.0  walked the Nagoya Airport's hallway with a piece of toilet paper in her hand.